By your side
by melles
Summary: AU set in the near future…the anklet is off. Neal has started his own business and has settled down to family life. Then, one fateful night, something happens. How will they deal with the consequences? Spoilers S1-S5 Warnings: Death of a main character (more or less - you'll get the explanation at the very last chapter...)!
1. Chapter 1

**Title:** By your side  
**Author:** melles76  
**P****airings:** Neal/ OC, Peter/Elizabeth  
**Spoilers:** S1-S5  
**Warnings: **Death of a main character (more or less - you'll get the explanation at the very last chapter...)  
**Summary:** AU set in the near future…the anklet is off. Neal has started his own business and has settled down to family life. Then, one fateful night, something happens. How will they deal with the consequences?

**A/N:** A special thank you to my wonderful beta-reader, **Rainey13**. You are amazing and I'm glad for your tremendous work you do every time. Also, I want to thank my partner in crime and dear friend **whitecollarlover,** who had helped me figuring out the storyline and several ideas. She even wrote a section. Kudos to you!

Despite my initial thoughts, I couldn't kill off one of the main characters, so I promise all readers that there will be a happy ending! But you still will need some handkerchiefs, though.

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**Chapter 1**

**New York, 2034**

"Happy Birthday, Neal!" Peter grinned and couldn't resist ruffling through Neal's hair, which caused a heavy sigh from the younger man. It was Sunday morning and the Burkes had just started to prepare breakfast when the dark haired man showed up.

"Oh Peter, please…," Neal groaned but smiled as well while he tried to rescue his hairstyle by ducking away.

El stood up and embraced him. "Hey, sweetie. Happy Birthday."

"Now it's official, kiddo. You're of full age," Peter said.

"Yeah, right. Speaking of, can I have the car keys please?"

"No." Peter's answer was prompt and left no place for interpretation.

"Oh c'mon!"

"Not a chance. And stop pouting." Peter held up his index finger, shaking it. "And don't even try that smile on me. It's not working." He chuckled but when he saw the disappointed look on Neal's face, he tilted his head on one side and raised an eyebrow. "Where do you want to go?"

Neal's look went down and he seemed to be shy. His answer was a quiet, "I…wanted to visit my parents."

Peter swallowed. Even after all those years it was hard being reminded what had happened to his best friend. Before he could answer, he had to clear his throat and suddenly felt bad. He had done it again. He had dismissed Neal's wish before he actually had listened to the younger man. "I'm sorry Neal. Of course you can have the car keys," he said ruefully and fished for it in his pockets. "There. Drive carefully, okay? The streets are still wet from the rain. And make sure that-"

"I have plenty of experience, thank you very much for your confidence," Neal rolled his eyes and crossed his arms in front of his chest.

"I know, I know," Peter raised his hands in surrender. "I'm sorry."

Grinning broadly because Neal once again had succeeded and got what he wanted, he grabbed the keys and said, "You of all people should know that I'm a good driver." But then his facial expression changed and he looked at Peter. "Do you want to come with me?"

Hesitating Peter debated with himself and exchanged a glance with El who looked rather clueless. "Only if you want me to join you."

"But I'm still driving!" Neal said and quickly ran out of the house.

"Hey! Slow down, I'm an old man," Peter laughed as he tried to catch up, but failed miserably.

"It's…still creepy being here," Neal said and looked around.

"I know," Peter nodded sadly. "It's not getting easier." His heart was heavy with grief as he read the grave inscription.

_Neal George Caffrey *March 21, 1977 +July 11, 2019_

_Linda Caffrey *January 20, 1976 +July 10, 2019_

Forever in our hearts

Closing the distance between them, Peter laid a hand on Neal's shoulder. "I can't believe it's been 15 years already," he said quietly. The light summer breeze played with Peter's gray hairs and he looked at the spitting image of his late best friend. "Do you want some private time?"

"No," was the simple reply. Then Neal knelt down and placed the flower bouquet down.

Peter watched his son closely. Never in his life had he imagined that he would be the one who would raise Neal Caffrey's son. But fate hit them all hard by taking Neal Sr. and his wife Linda away from them because of a car accident caused by a drunken driver. Neal Jr. had been six at that time and the Burkes had been his Godparents. It had been Neal's wish that Peter and El should take care of his son in case anything should happen to him. Unfortunately the unthinkable had happened. The kid had been terrified and traumatized even if he hadn't been involved with the accident. He had already been with the Burkes for a stay overnight because his parents had wanted to celebrate their wedding anniversary that fateful night. Telling the always cheerful child that his parents wouldn't come back to pick him up the next day was one of the hardest tasks Peter ever had to overcome. The first years Peter and Elizabeth had acted as Neal's legal guardians. But Neal Jr. had surprised them by asking them one day if they wanted to adopt him. And so he had officially become Neal Peter Caffrey-Burke. Thinking of this, a smile appeared on his face. If someone had told him that he, Special Agent Peter Burke, would raise the son of Neal Caffrey, one of the world's greatest con-men, he would have laughed about that.

"Dad?"

Sometimes Peter felt irritated to be called that. Especially right now, standing in front of the grave. But then again he reminded himself that it had been Neal Jr. once again who had asked about permission to call El and Peter "Mom" and "Dad." The young child had desperately longed for surrogate parents so that neither Peter nor El had been able to refuse that wish. With time all three of them had grown together like a real family. It wasn't that he and El had been strangers to the kid, since they were his Godparents and Neal Jr. had spend lots of time with the Burkes while growing up the first six years of his life. "Yes, buddy?"

"When we're back home…," he hesitated, "…will you tell me about my parents?"

Since they didn't want to put the kid under pressure, they had agreed to talk about Neal Sr. and Linda whenever the young man felt the desire to. After all, Neal Jr. had spent the last 15 years without his birth parents and had known them for only 6 years and since he had been very young, most of his memories about those 6 years had vanished. "Of course."

"Is it okay if I call uncle Mozzie to join us?"

Peter chuckled. "I don't mind at all. It'll be fun." Since he no longer worked for the FBI, Peter had become a little bit relaxed when it came to Mozzie. And of course, Mozzie knew parts of Neal Sr.'s life better then Peter so chances were good that he discovered new sides of Neal's father, too.

Neal beamed. "Okay. Thanks. Sorry for dragging you here, though. It's just…I had this…feeling-"

"Don't worry about that," Peter shook his head. "No need to explain." He completely understood. There had been times when he just drove here and talked to his friend. "So," he grinned, "how about a short stop at The Greatest Cake? We can get some muffins."

"Sounds great. Let's go."

With one last look Peter nodded towards the tombstone. "You'd be proud of him, Neal. He's a great kid." Speeding up his pace, he finally walked next to his son. "About your birthday party tonight…"

_to be continued…_


	2. The accident

**A/N: **First, I want to thank all of you who took the time to read and review. I know that death-fics are a very sensitive topic, therefore I'm really grateful for your support. Once again, I promise that there will be a happy ending, but there will be some terrifying moments before that.

Well, I've mentioned the need of handkerchiefs. I think it's time to prepare yourself for some drama.

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**Chapter 2**

**July, 2019****  
The accident **

Startled by the buzzing cell phone, Peter searched for it in the darkness. It was past midnight, at least that's what Peter thought and before he could check the clock on the nightstand his fingers found the still buzzing cell phone. Accepting the call, the display illuminated the dark room, blinding him for a moment. That's why he couldn't make out the caller ID so he hadn't a clue about the caller. His voice was scratchy from sleep as he said, "Burke. Who's calling?" The caller identified himself, but Peter wasn't fully awake by now so his fuzzy brain couldn't make sense of the words. "Excuse me? I didn't catch your name?" he had to ask once again before he was alert enough to pay attention. "St. Luke's Hospital?" he repeated the words, still not believing his ears. He could feel that Elizabeth was waking up as well, because the mattress shifted slightly and the lamp on her bedside was switched on. Then he listened again. "Are you sure? I mean…there's really my name on the medical file? Not his father's? James Bennett?" He listened again and then said, "Okay. I'm on my way. Thanks." Even if he was awake now, he had to take deep breaths and closed his eyes for a moment.

"Hon?"

Peter turned around and saw the puzzled look on El's face. "That…that was the hospital…seems that Neal and Linda were involved in a car accident. The doctors want to talk to me about Neal's condition…," he explained slowly, still trying to make sense of the words.

El put a hand over her mouth. "O my God! I'm coming with you."

"No, no!" Peter shook his head. He pointed to the wall indicating that he meant the room next door. "Someone has to stay here because of Junior." The Burkes were babysitting Neal and Linda's son Neal Jr. tonight because the couple was celebrating their wedding anniversary. It wasn't uncommon for the Burkes to have the boy for an overnight sleep, since they were also his Godparents. "Besides I don't know with what we're dealing right now". Hearing his own voice he realized that he didn't sound very convincing, so he tried to smile. "Maybe it's nothing at all."

"But…," Elizabeth objected, "then why did the hospital call you?"

Peter stood up. "Apparently I'm still listed as Neal's emergency contact," he shrugged his shoulders and went to the bathroom and came back a few moments later, dressed with jeans and t-shirt. "I thought he might have it changed, but…," he stopped while he looked for the socks.

"It doesn't matter right now," Elizabeth said and went to him, holding his socks. "Give me a call or send me a text as soon as you have news on them, okay?"

"Will do," he answered and ran a hand through his disheveled hair after he had finished dressing himself. With a quick kiss on her cheek he left the room.

The closer he drove towards the hospital, Peter got more and more solicitous about his best friend. Over the years they had developed a deep friendship and his gut feeling told him that something wasn't right. Swallowing hard, Peter had to concentrate on driving unless he wanted to end in the hospital as a patient as well. After he had found a parking spot near the ER, he stopped the car and didn't care about consequences like a parking ticket. That was the last of his problems. Speeding up his steps, he went straight for the reception and flashed his FBI badge. "Peter Burke. Someone called me because of one of your patients. Caffrey. Neal Caffrey."

One of the nurses looked up and nodded. "That was me. Hi, I'm Jenny."

Getting impatient, Peter nodded too, but then said, "What about Neal?"

"I'm calling Dr. Wesley," she said and grabbed the phone, dialing a number."He will talk to you as soon as possible, Mr. Burke."

"No, not as soon as possible. Right now."

"Mr. Burke-"

"It's Special Agent Burke." He knew he was a bit mean on Jenny, but he didn't want to waste time, so he played the FBI card.

"Sir-"

"What can you tell me so far? There must be something in that computer," he insisted.

Jenny seemed to consider her options. "I'm sorry. I'm not allowed to-"

"I don't care. Just tell me."

Another nurse stepped in. She looked at him sternly and obviously was in charge for tonight, judging by her confident attitude. Then she said, "Sir, would you please take a seat at the waiting area? Dr. Wesley will be here soon."

Not liking this situation, but also realizing that he was helpless against two nurses, he frowned and then mumbled, "He'd better here within the next 10 minutes." He entered the area but wasn't able to sit down so he nervously strolled up and down, stopping every now and then to glance at the reception. Still no sight of Dr. Wesley. With his hand on his hips, he looked out of the window. His thoughts circled around the couple. They had been looking forward for this special evening and he remembered Neal being excited about "something" the whole week. Peter had asked about this "something", but Neal had been reluctant to tell. Based on Neal's big grin, Peter assumed it had to be good news.

"Mr. Burke?"

Peter immediately turned around and looked at a runt man in his early sixties with gray hair. "Yeah, that's me. Dr. Wesley?"

"Yes. I was told that you are the emergency contact for Mr. Caffrey?"

Stepping in front of the man, Peter nodded. "That's correct. So, what happened? Neal was with his wife, Linda. I haven't heard anything from them."

Dr. Wesley looked uncomfortable and wrestled with his tie. "I'm afraid I have bad news…," he started quietly.

Peter felt his stomach tighten and took a deep breath, fixing his eyes on the doctor.

"Mr. Caffrey suffered severe head injuries, among other injuries as well. But so far, he's in a coma and according to his medical file, he has instructed not being hooked up on life support."

The news hit Peter hard and he realized that he had held his breath. Swallowing hard, he licked his lips. "So…what are trying to say is…that…he's…not breathing on his…," he stopped and tried again. "He's not dead, but…"

"Right now, it's a touch and go. We're running tests and I expect the results back in a few hours. But to be honest, I don't think that they will be positive. He has no more brain activity, but before we do…the last step," he said with a sad hint in his voice, "of course we have to wait for the results. Unless you decide to stop the machines right now."

"I-" Peter's voice broke and he shook his head. Having regained some of his composure, he replied, "No. Not right now. I want results first." He wouldn't give up on Neal that easily.

"I understand."

"What about his wife? Are her parents informed? They live outside the city…it's gonna take some time for them to come…"

Once again, Dr. Wesley looked uneasy and studied his chart. "I'm afraid, Mrs. Caffrey was pronounced dead on the way to the hospital. I'm very sorry."

Peter felt like being hit with a sledge hammer and he had to sit down. Shaking his head in disbelieve, he buried his face in his hands. "That's impossible. She can't be gone." That had to be a nightmare. A terrible nightmare. Surely he would wake up and everything would be just fine. Looking up again, he saw Dr. Wesley still standing close to him and somehow he doubted about waking up, because this was all real. Too real for his liking. "C-can I see Neal?" he asked with tears in his eyes.

"Of course. I'll show you the way."

Entering the hospital room made Peter shiver. Seeing Neal lying motionless in the bed, attached to several machines and IV's, felt so surreal. Neal was always vibrant, full of life and most of the time Peter had trouble to quiet him. But right now, not hearing his voice yet those strange noises from the machines was hard to take in. Dr. Wesley had told him about the injuries but still Peter couldn't believe that his best friend was at the point of death. It took a few moments before he was able to actually step beside his friend, but he still hesitated to do something else. He let his eyes wander on Neal's prone figure. His head was bandaged and there were some scratches on his pale face as well. A tube had been inserted down his throat, connecting him to a ventilator to assist his breathing. The constant rising and falling of his chest was the only visible sign that Neal was still alive. Neal was also attached to a heart monitor and the beeps were annoying and comforting at the same time. As long as they could be heard, Neal was alright. Peter recalled the words from Dr. Wesley talking about broken ribs and some internal damage, but the main focus had been on the head injury. Looking around, Peter spotted a plastic chair near the window, which he took and put it next to the bed. Rubbing his face with one hand, he sat down, unsure what to do next. Finally he reached for Neal's hand, which was warm to his touch. Peter's voice broke on the first try, so he cleared his throat. As he continued, his voice was only slightly louder than a whisper, "Neal…I-I don't know what to say…," he told the unconscious man. "I'm so sorry about what happened and I…God, this is hard…I want you to fight, Neal. You have to fight. You just have to. Wake up please."

How long he had stayed with Neal, Peter couldn't tell. But after some time, he felt the urge to stand up and stretch his legs. He gently put Neal's hand down and slowly rose. "I…I'll take a short break, okay Neal? I'll be right back." Stepping out on the hallway, he reached for his cell phone and tried to text El, but his hands were shaking so he constantly typed the wrong letters. Cursing quietly, he took a few steps to clear his mind and took another try. _It's bad. I'm sorry. Be back soon._ That's all he was able to think of, but he didn't want to lie to El telling her that everything was alright. Because it wasn't. Linda was dead. Neal junior had lost his mother tonight and from the looks of it, there was a great chance that his father wouldn't make it, too. A shiver ran down his spine and a quiet sob escaped his lips while Peter stared at his cell phone. After what felt like a lifetime, he pushed the SEND button and closed his eyes.

Hearing a familiar voice, he turned around and he could see Richard and Maggie Wilcox, Linda's parents approaching the hallway together with Dr. Wesley. They both looked devastated. _Of course they do_, Peter thought grimly. _They just lost their daughter._ Putting the cell phone into his back pocket of his jeans, Peter slowly went towards them. "Maggie, Richard," he greeted them and could see the grief on their faces. Maggie was crying and clutching her husband's hand tightly.

"Peter," Richard said and had red rimmed eyes, too.

All four of them stood there in silence, before Peter said, "I'm so sorry. I-I don't know what to…"

Richard interrupted him, "Where's Neal Jr? They couldn't tell us. They said there was no child with Linda and Neal?"

"He's with us. Elizabeth is with him. He's fine. Linda-," he fell silent again and sighed, "Linda and Neal had asked us to babysit him tonight. He doesn't know yet."

"I want to see Linda," Maggie said with a shaking voice and wiped away her tears with a handkerchief.

"Are you staying here a bit longer?" Richard wanted to know.

"I just was about to go home, but if you want, I can wait," he offered. "Are you driving back home later?" It certainly wasn't a good idea to let the old couple drive at all, after what had happened. "If you like, we can arrange a stay at a hotel nearby," Peter said. As much as he wanted them to stay at the Burkes, he also knew that there wasn't enough space for all of them.

Maggie looked at Richard. "I don't think so. We need...I mean, there's so much we have to take care of..."

Dr. Wesley nodded. "I'm sure there will be a solution. Just take your time." Then he gestured the couple to follow him.

"I will be at Neal's room," Peter said and watched quietly as the three of them slowly went down the hallway. It was then that he realized that his cell phone had vibrated some moments ago. He retrieved it from his pocket and looked at the display. _Can I call?_ Peter typed a _Yes_ and sent it. Only seconds later, the phone rang and he slowly strolled down the hallway. He was way too agitated to just sit down.

_"Hon?"_

"Yeah."

_"Tell me."_

Peter couldn't hide his emotions any longer. "She's dead. Linda's dead," he sobbed and he could hear Elizabeth sucking in the air at the end of the line.

_"Oh my God! What about Neal?"_

"He's…he's in a coma, but…the doctor said, there's no brain activity. They are running some tests and the results should be here tomorrow, but…from the sound of it, it's unlikely for Neal to wake up again."

There was silence at the other end, before El said with a tearful voice. _ "Neal's a fighter. Everything will be okay. Right?"_

"Yeah. Right." Like El he tried to sound optimistic, but like her he failed as well. "Maggie and Richard just arrived. They are with…they wanted to see Linda and they asked me to stay…I guess I won't be home anytime soon. You should try to get some sleep, hon."

_"What about Junior? What do we tell him? Oh my God. This can't be true!"_

"I don't know. I really don't know, hon. I'll have to talk with Maggie and Richard." Totally absorbed by the phone call, he hadn't realized that he had reached the reception, so he stopped. Just when he wanted to reply to something Elizabeth had said, a police officer approached next to him.

"Hi, I'm Officer Donnelly. I've been informed that the results of the blood tests are ready? And I also need the preliminary estimate from the attending physician."

Jenny looked at him. "What case?"

The officer answered, "The victims names are Caffrey-"

"Just a second," Jenny replied and stood up to get the required documents.

"Excuse me," Peter immediately interjected El's call. "I'm sorry to cut this short. I'll talk to you later. Love you, hon." After that, he turned to the officer. "Were you at the site of the car accident?"

Officer Donnelly raised an eyebrow. "Who are you?"

"I'm Special Agent Peter Burke." He reached for his badge and showed it to the officer. Out of a habit he had it with him, although he didn't wear one of his usual suits.

"Why is the FBI involved at all? It was a car accident."

"This isn't an official visit. Yet. The couple, the Caffreys, they are my friends. I'm here because I'm listed as Neal's emergency contact," he explained. "But I also want to know what exactly happened out there. So…what's the state of play?"

"As far as I'm concerned, the car was hit by a drunken driver. He should be here as well." Officer Donnelly reached for his notepad, checking the pages. "Joseph Munroe. Ran a red light as well, causing the crash. He was too drunk to react properly. But we have to check the blood tests to be sure that Mr. Caffrey wasn't intoxicated as well. We found the sales check of a restaurant within his personal belongings. It shows that he had been there earlier this evening. "

Peter shook his head. "He wouldn't drink and drive. He's my best friend. I know him, he wouldn't do something like that."

"Yeah well, you know the drill, sir. We have to investigate. How's your friend by the way?"

"He's hanging in there," Peter answered slowly. "His wife is dead."

Officer Donnelly's face dropped. "I'm really sorry to hear this." Then he reached into his breast pocket and retrieved a business card. "Here are my numbers."

Peter did the same. "I will stay in touch with you Officer Donnelly. What happened to Munroe?"

Jenny who had listened to the conversation, already had searched for the information and said, "He's dead. He died about half an hour ago."

Although Peter wasn't the type for harsh feelings, he mumbled, "He just killed a mother of a six year old and he-," Peter's anger was clearly audible and his thoughts were bitter, _he got what he deserved._ The moment he realized the weight of those words, Peter felt bad, but he couldn't help himself. His nerves were raw.

It was late, very late at night, or better said early Sunday morning when Peter shuffled up the stairs towards the Burke home. He felt tired and old. Very old. The events from the night were taking its toll on him and he just wanted to crawl up to the second floor and lay in his bed. But entering the house he could see that the light in the living room was on and so was the TV. El was on the couch, dozing. Sighing Peter closed the door and locked it. Then he went towards El and grabbed the remote to turn off the TV.

"Hon?"

His heart skipped a beat when he heard her voice because he knew she would ask him about the latest developments. But he was exhausted and just wanted to sleep. "Hey hon," he said quietly.

Elizabeth stood up and looked at him. Her eyes immediately filled with tears.

Peter embraced her and could feel her trembling. Carefully sitting down, he took her with him. All of his energy was gone as he buried his face against her cheek and took deep breaths. He couldn't hold back the tears. Neither of them spoke and the silence was eerie. It was Peter who stiffened after a few moments and whispered, "Neal."

With a surprised look El took a step back and followed her husband's glance. She sniffed and quickly wiped away her tears as she spotted the reason for Peter's sudden changed behavior. "Sweetie…," she said and tried to smile. "What are you doing down here?"

The child stood at the landing and looked at them with a bewildered expression on his face. "I'm thirsty," was his low-voiced reply, followed by a stifled yawn. "Can I have something to drink?"

"Of course," El let out a sigh and quickly emerged towards the kitchen.

Peter put on a friendly face. At least he tried, but he wasn't sure if he had succeeded. "Come down, champ."

"Are you sad?" Neal asked with all the seriousness a six year old could muster and cocked his head while he slowly came down.

"Um, well…," Peter said and scratched his head. "Yeah, sort of." He looked at El helplessly, who rumored through the refrigerator.

"Why?" Neal stood in front of him and looked up with his big blue sparkling eyes.

Immediately Peter felt his stomach tighten as he saw them. "Um," Peter searched for the right words. Now wasn't the time to tell the boy the painful truth. Just then someone screamed in the background and he pointed towards the still running TV. "Elizabeth saw something sad and I-," he quickly explained and knelt down, "I was trying to sooth her."

Elizabeth came back with a glass of milk. "Here sweetie." It was obvious that she was still upset but she tried to act normal. Well, as normal as one could be given the situation.

Taking the glass with both hands, Neal greedily drank.

"Easy pal. Don't choke on it," Peter said smiling, but the smile didn't reach his eyes.

Grinning from ear to ear, Neal shook his head as he handed back the empty glass to Elizabeth who brought it back to the kitchen. A thin line of the white moisture was still visible looking like a small mustache.

Peter ruffled the boy's hair and had to laugh at the sight because he had no doubt that Neal had produced the mustache on purpose. He lifted his godson up. "Now, let's go back to sleep. It's late."

El followed them slowly upstairs and watched both of them vanish in the guestroom. She went to their bedroom without switching on the light and sat down on the bed with her knees pulled up and her arms around them. Lost in thoughts she didn't notice that Peter entered as well a few minutes later. Like Elizabeth he didn't bother to switch on the light and preferred the darkness.

"He's asleep," Peter told her softly and crawled under the covers. He was tired but his mind was still restless. With his left hand he reached to her and immediately after he had made contact with her knee, she nestled to his side. Peter lifted the blanket and Elizabeth gratefully slid under it. He put his arm around her shoulders and rested his hand on her back, softly drawing circles on it with his fingers. Her tension was palpable.

"How are we going to tell him?" she asked him, her voice grief-stricken. "Oh my God. I can't believe it."

"Neither can I," Peter whispered. "I still think it's a bad nightmare. But I'm afraid it's not." He paused for a few seconds. "Maggie and Richard are coming back tomorrow. They took a cab back home. They refused to stay at a hotel."

"Do you know what happened?"

Peter let out a sigh. "A drunken driver ran a red light and collided with Neal's car. I spoke with the police officer who was at the hospital to collect the blood samples from both Neal and the drunken driver. The police has to determine if Neal was drunken too."

"He would never drink and drive!" Elizabeth objected without hesitation.

"My words exactly."

A few seconds passed before she asked, "How bad is it?"

Peter chewed his lip and cleared his throat. "He's, um,…he shows no sign of brain activity and the doctor has ordered some tests. Problem is, according to his medical file, Neal doesn't want to be hooked up on life support and-," his voice broke. "The odds are against him, El."

"What about Linda?"

"She…died on the site of the car crash. Her neck is broken. She didn't suffer," he repeated the words from Dr. Wesley. A fresh tear ran down his cheek and he sobbed quietly. "She's gone."

They both mourned in silence and startled as they heard a noise at the door. Peter sat up and reached for the lamp on the nightstand. "Oh no," Peter moaned. "Did we trap Rusty again?" He rose and went across the room. Rusty was the neighbor's cat that obviously couldn't decide where to stay and sometimes ended up with the Burkes. "Rusty, you can't co-" he stopped short as he recognized their nightly intruder. "Neal?!"

The little one looked up. "Can't sleep," he mumbled and rubbed his eyes with one hand. With his right hand he pressed a teddy bear close to his chest. "Want to sleep here."

Peter glanced over his shoulder and saw El nodding towards him. If he didn't know better, he'd say that Neal was suspecting something. Gently he scooped the child up in his arms and carried him to the bed. "Alright. But we all really need to sleep, okay? No stories, no jumping around. Are we clear?" Peter smirked and cupped Neal's cheek.

"Yes!" Neal answered chuckling. When he spotted Elizabeth with the once again red rimmed eyes, he frowned. "Are you still sad?"

El sighed. "A little bit, yes."

Neal climbed across the bed and now sat between his godparents. The always cheerful child put his small hand on El's. "Don't worry. I'm here now," he told the grown-ups and sounded very serious, but smiled nevertheless. "I'll look after you." He offered her his teddy bear. "You can have Barney, if you like. He looks after me when I'm sad. He's a very brave bear."

"Oh Neal," El choked and fought hard to hold back her tears as she hugged him and pressed a kiss on top of his head. "I'm sure he is. Thank you."

Peter sadly shook his head as he listened to the boy's words. Neal Jr. was indeed his father's son and Peter could make out many similarities, which was beautiful and painful at the same time. Thinking about what they had to tell him in the morning was almost too much to bear for him. He pushed aside the thought and slid under the cover. Right now he wanted the child to be happy. Right now that was all that mattered for him.

_to be continued…_


	3. Hospital scene

**A/N: Thank you all for the reviews. I really appreciate every single one. Now it's time for another round of tissues, I think.  
**

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**Chapter 3**

October, 2019  
Hospital scene 

The moment Elizabeth had received the rather frantic phone call from Neal's grandparents, she and Peter had been in a rush. There hadn't been time to get more information about what exactly had happened to Neal. So both of them were clueless and worried at the same time. Peter walked in front of her and she had problems keeping up with him as he rushed towards the ER. He went straight to the reception.

"My name is Peter Burke. I'm looking for Neal Caffrey. We're his godparents," he said out of breath. Waiting impatiently, he drummed with his fingers on the counter.

El approached him just the second the nurse whose tag name read "Sally" looked up at Peter.

"Neal came in about 30 minutes ago-"

"What's wrong with him?" Peter asked.

"I don't know yet. The doctor will talk to once he has seen Neal-"

Again, Peter cut her off. "What?! Thirty minutes ago and still no doctor to look after him?" Peter was furious. "What kind of hospital are you?"

"Peter, please," El touched his hand and shot him a look to quiet him before she turned to Sally. "Do you know where he is right now?" She smiled at her, although it was obvious that she was worried as well.

Sally typed something into the computer and then replied, "He's in radiology. You can take the elevator up to the 5th floor. Then you go down the floor to the right side."

El nodded. "Thank you."

The ride with the elevator was done in silence, both Peter and El lost in their own thoughts. After stepping out, Peter looked down the floor and then grabbed El's hand. He was upset, but he didn't want to show his emotions to El but somehow he doubted that he succeeded so far. "I'm sure he's okay," he mumbled and took a deep breath. "I'm sure he's okay."

"Just promise me that you'll not freak out on the doctor like you did with the nurse," El said quietly.

"I didn't freak out!" Peter frowned. "How can you be so calm? She said that Neal's here since more than 30 minutes...I mean...I'm...it's just...," he sighed and let his shoulders slump. Memories of the car accident from Neal and Linda came to his mind. It had been only four months since his best friend and his wife had died in a car crash. He could feel a lump in his throat and he had to swallow a few times.

"Hon, I know," El simply answered and laid her hand on his back, rubbing it gently. Her face showed her concern but still she managed a slight smile. "Let's go find him, okay?"

It didn't take long for them to find the right unit and just when Peter was about to ask one of the employees for help, a door opened and a white haired man stepped out, holding a cell phone. "Oh, Peter! Elizabeth! Right on time. I was about to call you again," the man said and sounded really relieved. "He won't calm down."

Peter immediately straightened his back and asked, "What happened, Richard?"

The older man seemed uncomfortable and ran a hand through his hair. "He...he was outside. Playing. And suddenly he came running in, crying. He must have hurt his arm. But he's refusing help. He doesn't want to be touched. And he won't calm down. He's been crying ever since." The stress took its toll and the man swayed slightly.

El was by his side in an instance. "Why don't you sit down, Richard?" She pointed to a row of chairs on the wall.

"But Neal?" he asked, unsure what to do.

"I'm taking care of him," Peter said and nodded to his wife. With one last glance over his shoulder, Peter stepped into the room. And immediately his heart broke seeing the terrified child hiding under the exam table. He was crying loudly. "Hey, buddy," he said and tried to sound cheerful even if he didn't feel like it. "You gave us quite a scare. Especially your grandpa." Peter knelt down slowly and sat down next to Neal, eying him carefully.

But the kid didn't respond. It seemed that he was blocking out everything around him. His face was red from crying, the tears streaming down his cheeks, his voice hoarse. He was holding his right arm close to his chest while he was screaming and sobbing.

Seeing his godson like this brought Peter nearly to tears, but he reminded himself that he needed to calm the boy down. Which wasn't an easy task because the boy repeatedly asked for his parents. Peter's heart was heavy because he knew that Neal and Linda wouldn't come to get their son. Peter searched for a handkerchief in his pockets. "Here," he finally found it and was offering it to Neal. "Blow your nose, will you? You can hardly breathe."

For a few seconds, Neal seemed to be confused by Peter's actions and he stopped crying. Instead he looked at him with bleary eyes and sobbed violently.

Peter got a bit closer to him and gently wiped away the tears. "There you go," he praised him. "That's a good boy." Taking a deep breath himself Peter nodded. "Did you hurt your arm?"

Neal nodded hesitantly and fresh tears ran down his cheeks.

"No, no," Peter said. "Don't cry. It's okay. We're not angry at you. We are worried, you know. Your grandpa is out there waiting. Do you want him to come back in?"

The only response of the child was a silent head shake.

That did surprise Peter. "Why not?"

Again, Neal chose to stay silent.

Peter sighed and ran a hand over his face. He needed to find another way to get Neal talking. "It's quite uncomfortable down here, don't you think? Why don't you come out?"

"I-I wa-want Daddy co-ome to get me-e home," he whined, his voice almost inaudible.

Startled by the faint voice, Peter looked at his godson. The lump was back in his throat. "Do you remember what we've talked about? That Daddy and Mommy are on a long journey? They can't come back here and pick you up. That's why Grandpa Richard is here. He's taking care of you. And later on he will bring you back to their house. I'm sure Grandma Maggie is already waiting for you." The explanation was somehow lame, but, on the other hand it wasn't a completely lie at all. He wasn't very religious, but he felt more comfortable with the idea of Neal and Linda traveling around rather than being buried six feet under. Telling himself and his Godson that Neal and Linda were somewhere near, made it easier for him to cope with the bereavement. Hearing those words seemed to upset Neal once more because his lips began trembling. Again, he screamed, "Daddy! I want my Daddy!"

"Don't cry, Neal. Everything will be fine. I promise," Peter said and felt helpless. He wished El would be here. She was way better with handling Neal. He knew that the boy still missed his parents badly. "But you have calm down, buddy. We must look after your arm."

Instinctively Neal grabbed his right arm and shook his head, still sobbing. "Afraid."

"Oh there's nothing to be afraid of, buddy. We're all here with you. El's outside too. We'll make sure that nothing happens to you."

"Promise?" Neal asked him.

"Of course." It may have been a lie, but Peter was desperate. "So, what happened?"

"Fell down the tree," Neal mumbled and sniffed.

"Alright." Relieved that the boy seemed to calm down at least a bit, Peter smiled. "I fell down a tree, too as a kid. But I hurt my ankle instead."

"You were in the hospital too?"

"Yeah, I was. And tell you what?" Peter leaned forward and looked around to get the kid's attention. "After they checked me out, I got a sucker from one of the nurses. And if you're a good boy, I guess El will make you muffins."

"The chocolate muffins?"

"Mh-mh. The one and only."

Neal seemed to reconsider his options and rocked forward while he watched Peter with his big blue eyes. He startled as the door opened.

El carefully glanced inside. "Hey my boys," she said and stepped in. She knelt down next to Peter and looked at him. "Everything alright here?"

Peter nodded, also aware that Neal eyed them cautiously. "We're good, right?"

The boy sighed heavily since his nose was still slightly swollen and he couldn't breathe freely. "I want to go home," he said and sounded very dejected.

"We will," Elizabeth said and stroked Neal's wet cheek and then his back. "But first the doctor has to look for your arm. After that we will meet with Grandpa Richard. He's waiting outside."

"How's he doing?" Peter asked her quietly.

"Better. I got him some water and one of the nurses is nearby."

Just when he thought that they had Neal under control, the door opened again and a doctor stepped in.

"Oh hey, I wasn't expecting something like that," he smiled. "Although I've been warned that our friend here would be a little bit upset." The man introduced himself to Peter. "Hi, my name is Dr. Robertson."

Immediately Neal started to shiver and tried to hide again. "Shhh," Peter soothed him and leaned forward so that he gently could rub his back just like El had done it before. "I'm right here, champ. You don't have to worry."

All of a sudden, Neal emerged from under the table and snuggled up to Peter's shoulder.

Peter embraced the boy gently and tried to avoid contact with Neal's injured right arm. Looking up to Dr. Robertson, he didn't stand up since Neal was still holding him tightly. Instead he just nodded. "Peter Burke. And this is my wife Elizabeth."

"Okay, young man," Dr. Robertson studied the chart in his hand, "so let's take a look at your arm..."

Two x-rays, a few more tears and the promise of a visit to a McDonald's later, Peter carried a very exhausted Neal out of the exam room. Neal's head rested on Peter's shoulder and the boy fought hard to stay awake. In his left hand he held a green sucker.

In an instant, Richard was by his side. "So it's broken?" he asked quietly and pointed to the blue colored cast which covered Neal's right hand.

"Yup. But there shouldn't be a problem. In about six weeks the cast comes off again."

"Considering that, I guess that's good news after all," El said and ruffled through Neal's hair which caused only a mild response telling her how tired her godson really was.

Peter grinned. "Let's go home." He looked at Richard. "Do you mind if we keep him over the weekend?" It wasn't uncommon that the Burkes would have Neal overnight, although the overnight stays had been rare lately.

"Not at all," Richard answered. He seemed composed and collected. "It's been a busy day and it wouldn't do him good to drag him across the city. I will call Maggie and let her know that everything's okay."

"You can come along, Richard," Elizabeth offered. "Have a cup of coffee before you head home."

The older man hesitated. "I think I should drive home. Maggie's waiting. Thank you for your help, though. I was...I couldn't calm him down," he said and admitted his defeat.

"Speaking of," Peter looked at his wife, "in order to keep him under control and because he was such a brave young man I promised him your chocolate muffins." He was well aware that Neal was listening intently even if he didn't say a word.

"Oh of course, sweetie," she said and smiled at Neal, caressing his cheek. "Anything you want."

"I wa't choc'late muffin'," the little boy mumbled indistinctly, with his eyes half closed. "An' ma'shmellow'"

Peter smirked and put his hand on Neal's back, tapping it softly. That was so typical for the boy. Yet he wasn't mad about him for at least trying to work things to his favor. "Don't push your luck, pal."

As Peter quietly closed the door to the guestroom he waited for a few more seconds and listened attentively. Neal had finally lost his battle against sleep and Peter had carried him to the room. The boy had been in high spirits after they all had come home and had occupied them. Now Peter felt exhausted too. Satisfied that no noises could be heard from inside, Peter carefully went down to his own bedroom where Elizabeth was already in the bed waiting for him. "Hey."

"Hey," she answered smiling. "He's sleeping?"

"Yeah. It was about time." He slipped under the blanket and exhaled loudly as he watched the ceiling letting his thoughts wander. The words from Richard circled constantly in his mind.

"He's not the only one. I'm glad he's okay. He's had quite a day, huh?"

"Mhm."

"Penny for your thoughts, hon."

It took Peter a moment to realize that El had spoken to him. "Sorry. What did you say?"

"I wanted to know what's bothering you."

"I'm just thinking about Richard and Maggie. Today showed that they are not capable in such situations. I mean, look at them, they are in their seventies. Richard almost passed out. And Maggie," he shook his head, "she's still grieving. I mean we all are, but she's devastated and hasn't got the strength to look after Neal."

Snuggling closer to her husband, Elizabeth replied, "They are not used to have a very active six year old around them 24/7. And you're right. The whole thing was too much for them. But they were not the only ones who overreacted." She put a hand on his chest.

"Yeah I know," he grumbled. "I was a little bit…harsh on Sally, but…"

"Hon, it's okay." After a moment she asked, "After all, you were the one who calmed him down." Leaning forward, she kissed him. "You're good with handling a Caffrey. He trusts you."

"That's what Neal had told me shortly after we started to work together," Peter chuckled softly, but fell silent again. It hurt so much thinking of Neal.

"So what now?" El seemed to feel his sad mood and tried to change the subject.

"Do you-" Peter started but then went silent again for a moment, reconsidering his next words carefully. "I was thinking…if we should consider becoming Neal's legal guardians. When he gets older, I don't think Richard and Maggie will be able to handle him. We both know that he takes after his father and that he can be a handful. Already. Now imagine him in 10 years."

Elizabeth chuckled. "He'll be a ladies' man, just like Neal, that's for sure."

"Oh yeah, I bet he will." Peter went silent again as he thought of his late friend and sighed. In moments like this, when they talked about their best friend, he realized how much he missed him. How close they had grown together as a family. "As far as I'm concerned, if anything happens to Richard and Maggie, child service will step in and…," he stopped, grabbed El's hand and turned to face his wife directly, "…El, I don't think I could handle the thought that Neal will be put into a new family."

"Me neither. And I think your idea is great."

"You do? I wasn't sure about it."

"Hon, we've known the little one since the day he was born. And we're his godparents. Linda and Neal had confidence in us that we would look after their son if...," she fell silent. Apparently she was thinking of the deceased couple too. "I think we should do it."

Peter nodded. "Hopefully Richard and Maggie will approve this."

"There's only one way to find out. We have to talk to them."

"Let's get to sleep first," Peter said and suppressed a yawn. "Love you, hon."

"Love you too."

_To be continued_


	4. One year anniversary

**A/N: Thank you all for reading and reviewing. I know this story is like a bumpy ride, but things will get better. Promise!**

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**New York,** **2020****  
One year anniversary**

_Time flies_, Peter thought while he watched Elizabeth and Neal Jr standing in front of the grave. They had just put down some flowers and now stood silently there, each of them lost in thoughts. Today was the first anniversary of Neal and Linda's day of their death. More or less. As a matter of fact, Neal had died one day after Linda, but right now that wasn't important. Peter shook his head and sighed. _It still hurts like hell, though. _So much had happened but still he had a hard time realizing that Neal and Linda were really gone. Looking at Elizabeth's face told him that she felt the same. Thinking back to the day after that horrible accident created goose bumps on Peter's arms.

Maggie and Richard had come to the Burkes, trying to figure out how to tell Junior what had happened to his parents. Dr. Wesley had called around 9 am telling Peter that the results of Neal's tests had been back but unfortunately there had been no improvement. They all had been utterly devastated by then, but they had agreed to come to the hospital to say their goodbyes. After Peter had ended the call, he had needed some time to think and had gone to the patio. He had had to inform June and Mozzie as well as his boss and his colleagues. Each call had been worse than the previous one and it was after talking to June that he finally broke down in Elizabeth's arms, crying together with her for the loss of his late best friend. Junior had been in shock and crying badly too.

Luckily Maggie and Richard had been there to soothe the pain. In the end, they all had agreed to not tell him all the details and so Neal had believed that his parents were on a long journey. In due course they would explain the truth. When they had arrived at the hospital, Peter hadn't been able to believe his eyes at first, seeing Reese, Diana, Jones, June and Moz waiting together in front of Neal's room. One after another had spent some time with Neal, to say their fare-wells to the former con man that had become part of the big family over the years. Later that afternoon, the life support machine had stopped and Neal's heart soon after that.

The next days had been in a blur for Peter, between arranging the funerals and the legal measures concerning Neal's bakery. Besides that, Neal had been the owner of a security engineering company he had founded after his four years at the FBI had ended. With Mozzie as Neal's associate on both companies, the bald man was willing to run the businesses also because of Neal Jr. With all that stuff on his hands, Peter also had tried to catch up with the police about the ongoing investigation. Reading the medical reports from the hospital had Peter shocked because he had figured out the reason why Neal had been so excited the days before the accident. Linda had been pregnant again and apparently the couple had been taking advantage of that special occasion to celebrate the wedding anniversary and the pregnancy on that evening.

And then, after everything had been back to normal (as normal as things could get after such a tragedy), Peter had asked for some vacation days and had taken the time with Elizabeth to visit his and her parents. Between nightfall and day break Peter had had to learn painfully how important family was and how fast everything could be destroyed. Maggie and Richard had taken care of Neal Jr who had moved in with his grandparents. But that had also meant relocation for the young child and almost a one hour drive for Peter and Elizabeth in case they wanted to visit him.

After four months Peter had received another disturbing call. This time from Richard, who had informed him that Junior had been taken to the hospital after the kid had been injured. The consequence of Neal's fall down from a tree had been a broken arm and the decision that Peter and Elizabeth wanted to become Junior's legal guardians. The meeting with Maggie and Richard to discuss their idea had been very much appreciated by the grandparents due to the fact that both of them were too old to handle a young child on a 24/7 basis.

That agreement had caused another relocation for Neal after the arrangement had been official, but this time it was supposed to be the last movement for a very long time. Even though the boy had been happy to be with the Burkes most of the time, of course the first few weeks had been troubled as well because the child had been home sick after all. The grief of having lost both parents not so long ago was still noticeable. All the more with the first Christmas without his beloved Mommy and Daddy coming up. Those days had been very hard for the boy who had spent most of the holidays crying in his room. Over the course of the next months, it became more and more obvious that Neal longed for "his" family, calling Elizabeth accidently "Mommy" from time to time. Being a smart child, Neal had surprised them with his answer after they had asked him about his wish for his upcoming birthday. He hadn't wanted much expensive gifts at all.

No.

All he was asking for was if the Burkes would want to adopt him. That option had never been a topic for Peter and Elizabeth before and so they had needed time to reconsider, since it had never occurred to them how important this theme seemed to be for young Neal.

Trying to oblige that wish, Peter had asked Mozzie for help. Mozzie, an orphan himself and attorney with an internet diploma had immediately stepped into action. As confusing the man was to him most of the time, Mozzie had showed his great heart and affection towards the child on more than one occasion. The bureaucracy demands had been huge, with several interviews with child service and a judge. Above all, June had been a tremendous help, stepping in whenever the Burkes had been in need of a babysitter, a helping hand or simply a shoulder to lean on. Because the judge had wanted to talk to Neal as well, the boy knew what was going on, but didn't quite understand why everything was taking so long. Therefore Neal had repeatedly asked about the adoption, but so far, the judicial decision hadn't come in yet.

Peter was brought back to reality when he felt a small hand clutching his left and he looked down at two blue eyes. "Hey buddy," he smiled.

"The flowers," Neal said.

"Huh?" Peter was confused.

"The flowers," Neal repeated. "You still have the flowers. Don't you want to put them down?"

"Oh," Peter grinned slightly embarrassed and looked at his right hand. "You're right. I was...distracted," he said after clearing his throat.

Elizabeth winked at him as he stepped beside her. "You seemed to be zoned out," she said as she grabbed his left arm for a moment.

"How long have you two been looking at me?" he asked and knelt down to arrange the flowers.

"Just a few minutes. Are you okay?"

Standing up again and looking at his wife and godson, Peter nodded. "I am now." 

_to be continued..._


	5. A very special Christmas

**A/N: After all those tears of sadness, I think it's time for some tears of laughter and joy. If you are interested seeing the picture of Peter I had in mind while writing this chapter, feel free to visit my livejournal. At the end of the post you see the pic. Send me an pm and I will provide you with the link, since doesn't allow posting it here.  
**

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**Chapter 5**

**New York, 2020  
Christmas **

As expected, the door to the bedroom opened very early on Christmas morning and a very edgy boy bust into the room. Startled by Neal's voice, Peter, laying on his back, cracked one eye open and turned his head. He flicked the bedside light on, just in time to see the child running towards the bed and stopping in front of it. Neal seemed hesitate about what doing next, looking back and forth between Peter and Elizabeth. "Neal," Peter moaned. "What's up? It's...," he turned around to check the alarm clock on the nightstand. "...6.30! Why are you up this early?" Of course Peter knew exactly why the boy was in high spirits, but he couldn't resist asking anyway.

"Because Santa Claus was here!" was the immediate reply. "The milk and the cookies are gone!"

Peter could feel the mattress shifting, telling him that El was awake, too. "Did you spy?"

"Uhm, no?" His answer was completed by a 100 mega-watt smile.

"Then why are you so sure about Santa?"

"Just because!"

"It's still too early. Let's go back to sleep."

"But...?!" The delight in Neal's features was nearly gone, replaced by disappointment.

"Neal, please," Peter tried once more. "It's only 6.30. Since when are you up anyway?" He looked at the boy with a raised eyebrow.

"Um, not long?"

Peter was startled once again, as he felt the sharp pain in his ribcage. Turning around he faced his wife, who threw him a stern look with one of her eyebrows raised as well. _This should be considered as a warning_, he thought and chuckled. "Alright. Alright." He started to get up. "Why don't you go back to your room and get dressed?" he asked Neal, who still had his pajama on.

It was very obvious that Neal hadn't expected this and his face fell. He seemed to be unsure and chewed on his lip.

"The longer you'll wait, the longer it'll take to go down." Peter said to him while he walked to the dresser. "And wait inside, until we come and get you, alright?"

Neal was about to reply something, but he knew better than to argue with Peter and so he obeyed and left.

"Don't be so cruel to him," El warned him, but was smiling as well while she joined him.

"I'm not cruel," Peter objected. "I just needed him out of the room."

"He's so excited this year," El said and took a deep breath and followed her husband. She was relieved that Neal seemed to adapt well to the situation.

"It's the first real Christmas for him with us," Peter nodded and put on jeans, a white button-down shirt along with a purple pullover. The last Christmas had been terrible for the child, still mourning for his dead parents. Nobody had been in the mood to celebrate back then. But this year would be special, Peter was sure of that as he opened the safe and pulled out an envelope.

Elizabeth touched his unshaven cheek. "I could get used to this," she smirked and winked at him. "You look...sexy."

"Really?" Peter asked and involuntarily ran his thumb and index finger across the stubble. "Although it's getting gray at the chin?"

"Hon, THAT is the reason you look sexy," El replied grinning.

Peter frowned. "Now you're making fun of me," he deadpanned.

"No. It's true. I love it. Makes you some kind of...,""she gave him a lopsided grin, "...reckless." To prove her words, she leaned forward and kissed him.

Neal's voice could be heard from inside his room as he shouted, "Are you ready now?"

Peter grinned and looked at the envelope in his hands. "I hope he'll like it." The smile vanished. "What if he doesn't?"

El shook her head. "Don't worry. He's gonna love it." She embraced him. "I'm getting dressed and then I'm curious to go down as well."

El slowly went down the stairs, holding Neal's hand. She wanted to make sure that the excited boy didn't fall down and by doing so, she was also able to distract Neal, allowing Peter to go down first and place the envelope under the Christmas tree. She smiled as they entered the living room. Today would be indeed a special day. Looking outside she realized that it had been snowing during the night. It was a wonderful sight but it also reminded her that the new snowfall put the journey of Neal's grandparents in jeopardy. Although it was still early, she doubted that the elderly couple would like to risk the drive, and she didn't blame them. But that also meant that her and Peter's parents wouldn't be able to join them as well. Entering the living room she could see that Peter also had set the video camera ready. Immediately Neal broke free from her grip and ran towards the Christmas tree, his eyes big and sparkling and his mouth opened in awe.

Peter started the camera and then joined them on the floor while Neal literally ripped all the gifts open. Except for the envelope. He hadn't discovered it so far, because he was totally engrossed with all the other stuff. Little by little Neal had gathered his gifts around him, each discovery was accompanied by cheerful laughter. Among his presents was a baseball glove from Peter, art supplies from El, board games from June, even some small gifts from Jones and Diana, as well as various books that once had belonged to his father. He surely was too young to read them, but Mozzie had wanted to encourage the boy to read as soon as possible. Although Peter already stated that he would carefully watch over the book collection and all the more he would keep a wary eye on the short man and his obscure theories.

With each passing minute where the envelope remained unnoticed, El was getting more and more excited and she looked at Peter next to her.

Nodding that he had understood, Peter cleared his throat, pointed at the envelope and said, "Oh hey, look at that! You missed something, buddy."

Neals' head went up and he looked at Peter with a surprised expression on his face. Then he turned around and saw the envelope. Apparently he hadn't considered that simple brown envelope as a gift for him and seemed doubtful.

"Yeah, that's for you, too. Want to open it?"

If El hadn't known it better, she could have sworn that Neal felt the importance of that envelope. She leaned forward. "Do you want me to help you open it?"

Neal nodded instantly and grabbed it, only to pass it on to El.

"Oookaaay," she tried to make it more interesting for Neal and was rewarded with his full attention as he leaned to her side carefully watching her moves. "Oh, there's some kind of paper in it," she said and pulled it out. "That's a…, " she knit her brows, "…certificate." She could hear her own heartbeat in her ears as her excitement grew.

"What's that?" Neal asked full of curiosity.

Peter rubbed Neal's back. "That's an official document and it's very important."

Neal took it with both hands and studied it. Although he was a smart kid, he had missed much of first grade, because of the known reasons and he had difficulties with reading. "New York…State…Dep-Depar-t-ment of He-heal-th," he read aloud and looked up. His lack of understanding was clearly visible in his face.

"The most important thing about this is," Peter tapped on the sheet, "that you're now officially our son. This certificate says that we adopted you."

It took a moment for Neal to realize the meaning of Peter's words. "Really?" he asked, still a bit stunned with his eyes big from expectation.

"Yes, sweetie," El chimed in. "It's real. The judge approved it. We are a family now. A real family."

"Look, that's your name on the form," Peter said and pointed to the paragraph. "'Name by Adoption: Neal Peter Caffrey-Burke'", he read aloud, never letting the child out of sight.

"Neal Peter Caffrey-Burke," Neal repeated; his voice almost down to a whisper.

"Do you like it?" Elizabeth asked and realized that she had held her breath. She never had felt so excited before.

"Yes, I do," Neal replied happily before he stood and embraced Elizabeth around the neck. "Thank you." After a few moments he did the same with Peter and thanked him as well.

"You're welcome, buddy," Peter smiled proudly and hugged Elizabeth, too. All three of them remained silent while they cherished the moment.

"Oh, dear! Just look at that beautiful sight!" June exclaimed cheerfully and embraced Elizabeth. Both sat on the couch in the living room, drinking coffee.

Elizabeth smiled proudly and watched her two boys plus Mozzie laying on the floor and playing the new games Neal had got. "I'll take a picture," she said and stood up. After finishing her task she went back to June, who had dropped by earlier this afternoon, accompanied by Mozzie.

"I'm so relieved that everything is official now," June said. "He deserves some happiness. And I can tell that he's happy. More than that. He's delighted. And so are you."

"Oh, yes, I am. After all we've been through…it's about time for a brand new start."

June nodded. "And I'm very proud of you two for what you did for Neal Jr. I understand it wasn't an easy decision to make. You're parents now."

"Sometimes I still think it's a dream," El confirmed. "I mean, having children was never an option for us. And now…," she smiled shyly, "…we have Neal." She stopped as she looked at her, their son. He sat cross-legged next to Peter and held the adoption paper in his hands once more. It seemed that he needed a constant confirmation about it. Just like right now, as he carefully held the letter in his little hands, his eyes glued on every word, with his lips moving silently while he read the lines for the umpteen time. Apparently he had completely forgotten about his surroundings. Her heart just melted watching him.

Just that moment Peter looked up at her and grinned broadly, like he had read her mind. He gently ruffled Neal's hair and went over to them. He sat next to El, hugging her.

She could see the tears in his eyes and couldn't hide her own. "This is the best Christmas ever." Sighing, she said, "It's sad though that our parents can't be here today."

"We have the important scenes on tape," Peter said quietly. "We can Skype with our parents later and given the circumstances maybe we can drive to Richard and Maggie within the next few days."

_to be continued…_


	6. Trouble at school

**Well, thank you so much for those lovely words from all of you. Next week I will upload the last chapter. **

**But first, we will learn how difficult it is for Neal Jr. to grow up.  
**

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**Chapter 6**

**New York, 2028  
Trouble at school **

Entering the class teacher's room on this Monday afternoon, Peter felt uneasy. Yet again he had received the phone call from Mr. Brooker and Peter knew exactly the reason why he was asked to come here as soon as possible. But knowing it didn't make it any easier for him. With a sigh, he stepped in and immediately saw his son sitting in front of the desk. "Mr. Brooker," he greeted the principal and they shook hands. Although he was a bit annoyed, his heart almost skipped a beat when he noticed the bloodied handkerchief that Neal was holding. "You okay?" he asked quietly.

Neal remained silent and looked down at his feet. Apparently he was embarrassed to see his Dad.

"Please take a seat, Mr. Burke," the principal said, smiling shortly. "Neal and I were just talking about his motives to get in trouble so much lately."

"I don't know what's going on in his head," Peter answered and sighed as he sat down. He had lost count how many times he had to pick his son up within the last few months. "We've tried to talk some sense into him, but to no avail."

"I've told you already that I'm pissed about-" Neal spat out, but was interrupted and looked down again.

"Watch your tongue, Junior," Peter reminded him sternly and watched him closely. He could tell that the young man was still upset. It wasn't easy to deal with Neal lately. Mostly because he was in the middle of his adolescent phase. But nevertheless Peter didn't accept that his son showed signs of violence repeatedly.

Mr. Brooker cleared his throat and got the attention of both Peter and Neal. "I would be very sad, if we have to expel Neal from this school," he started. "He's a very talented young man. But I can't tolerate his behavior any longer. However I'm willing to give him a last chance."

Neal looked up and blinked.

"Also I'm sure, that you'll agree with me that there will be no more concessions. I'm afraid, if there's one more offense, I will have to expel Neal, Mr. Burke."

"I understand," Peter nodded. He knit his brows and suddenly felt exhausted. Neal Jr. indeed was his father's son and had inherited the stubbornness all along with the ability to drive someone crazy. "I'm going to have a word with him tonight. And I'm very thankful that you're willing to give him a last chance."

They left the office and Peter stopped on the corridor, exhaling audibly. Putting his hands on his hips, he stared at Neal for a few seconds who stood next to him. His son hadn't spoken yet and nervously played with the handkerchief and also avoided to look at him. He had his backpack slung over one shoulder. "What's going on here?" Peter asked, but didn't expect an answer. Lately it was Elizabeth who was able to talk to Neal rather than him. "Your father wouldn't have done such a thing," he exhaled loudly.

Neal looked at him with an angry expression on his face, but chose to stay silent. Instead his cheekbones worked heavily. He was clearly very upset.

Peter didn't know how to deal with this rebellious young man. "Let's go," he finally said and shook his head in disbelief.

Neal followed him, but took one step back as they went down the hall. They reached the parking lot and he waited patiently for Peter to unlock the car. Then he threw the schoolbag at the back seat and slumped down in the passenger seat.

Peter sat behind the steering wheel but didn't start the engine. Instead he rubbed his face with one hand and felt his own exhaustion. Ever since Neal had gone into puberty, he was very hard to handle. "Was it Mark again?" he finally asked because he was pretty sure that the other boy was the key to all this trouble.

It took a few seconds for Neal to response, but his voice was almost a whisper. "H-he didn't s-st-stop ma-ma-king me look ri-ri-diculous," he finally admitted stuttering.

Peter sighed. Whenever Neal was under stress, he would start to stutter. This handicap had always been a sore spot and Peter was sure that Mark had found that spot to tease about. "I thought we already discussed this. Stay calm. Don't give him something to work with."

"H-he just didn't s-s-t-top!" Neal countered. This time he sounded agitated and his stuttering got worse. "He-he even s-s-s-s-tarted to sp-sp-eak ill of you and I…"

"You know better than to answer with violence, Neal."

" He-he s-s-sa-id that you are co-cor-rupt! How d-o-do you th-th-think I s-s-should react to this?!" he burst out with tears in his eyes.

Peter sighed once more and leaned his head back to the headrest and closed his eyes for a second before he looked at Neal. "It's okay, son. Cool down. We are going to talk to his parents once Mom is back home this evening. You know where he lives?"

"Y-y-yeah," Neal sobbed quietly.

"Mr. Brooker told me over the phone that you started the fight?" Peter asked concerned. "Is that true?"

"W-what?"

"Show me your hands." After seeing the abrasions on Neal's knuckles, Peter knew that he had indeed fought back and was surprised. Neal usually wouldn't have taken an active part in the fight. "I don't know what to think about this," he confessed and it was hard for him to hide his disappointment. "Your father was very good with words. He didn't use his fists to solve a problem." Once more he got a very angry look from Neal. "Alright, I'm gonna drop you off at home. You are grounded."

"But…"

"No buts there, son. I'm not gonna let your Mom blame me for letting you see your friends after what had happened today. You'll stay at home. No friends. No TV. No computer. No nothing. Understood?" It hurt him to be that strict, also because he knew that Neal hadn't put up the fight on purpose. But he had to make his position clear.

"Yes, sir."

"And put some ice on that lip."

After he had Neal dropped off, Peter drove back to the office. Stepping out of the elevator on the 21st

floor, Peter stopped in front of the large glass doors to watch his colleagues. Jones waved at him and

Peter entered the bullpen.

"Everything alright?" Jones asked.

"Not quite," Peter answered. "But I guess it could be worse, so I'm full of hope that we will find

a solution."

"Teenager," Jones grinned and clapped him on the shoulder. "How old is Junior? Fifteen?"

"Yeah," Peter nodded.

"Well, only a few more years, boss."

"Oh thank you. I appreciate your support."

"Anytime, Peter. Anytime."

With a smile on his lips Peter entered his office - the one that used to be Hughes' one - and sat down.

Looking around, a sad feeling occurred. It was his last year with the bureau and although he looked forward to spend more time at home with his family, he already knew that he would miss his family here deeply. A knock on the door brought him back to the present. He smiled as he waved Diana in.

She had become the head of the White Collar Division after Peter's promotion for the head of the unit.

"Here's the report on the Jackson case you've requested," she said and handed him a folder.

"Thanks, Diana," he said and took it, only to put it on the desk.

"You need anything else?"

Sighing, Peter looked at her. Diana had always been very supportive and he was very proud of her. "Some good advice how to handle a 15 year old teenager who's out of control."

Diana took one of the seats and sat down. "Elizabeth left for work today and Junior is already in trouble?" she smirked, before she got serious again. "As far as I can tell, you are doing a good job. Having a pubescent boy at home isn't easy at all I guess."

"No, it isn't. But knowing Junior's father, I have a pretty good insight. Even at 35 he used to be childish. Plus I don't think the puberty alone isn't causing all the troubles. There's this other boy, Mark, who constantly twits him." Over the years Junior had become Neal's nickname. "Junior is very popular in his class."

"Who would have thought?" Diana laughed.

"But that's also one of the reasons why Mark is jealous and tries to provoke Junior. Today they even had a fight."

Diana looked shocked. "Oh my! Is he hurt?"

"Only a split lip and sore knuckles, as far as I'm aware. He doesn't seem to be bothered at all. But I can tell that he suffers. The problem is he doesn't accept my help right now. Only Elizabeth is able to talk some sense into him so I have to wait for her to come back. I only hope he behaves until then."

"He's as stubborn as his old man," she said. "And he wants to show his wild side."

"That's exactly what I thought after I picked him up from the principal's office." He took a deep breath. "I know it's not easy for him to grow up without his parents."

"Don't tell yourself that, Peter. You and Elizabeth are doing a great job raising him."

Peter smiled fondly. "Thanks."

Waiting impatiently for Elizabeth, Peter looked at his watch. Because her car was at the auto shop, he had dropped her off this morning and now was waiting for her to drive her home. She was already running late, but that wasn't bothering him. No it was the knowledge that El would ask him about Neal the second she would notice his absence. "Hey Hon," he said and smiled towards her as she stepped out of Burke Premiere Events office. "How was your day?"

"Busy," she answered smiling and kissed his cheek. "I missed you two," she added, but then frowned. "Where's Neal?"

"Um," he cleared his throat. There was no way to fool her. So he opted to tell her the truth right now. "At home. He's grounded. Got into a fight with Mark. Again."

"Oh my God!" She put a hand in front of her mouth. "Is he okay?"

"As far as I can tell," he nodded and tried to sound calm, although he was worried as well. "I haven't been home yet."

"Then let's go home and then we're gonna talk with him. But first I'm making dinner. I'll bet you two are starving."

Arriving at home later this evening, Peter could see the TV running in the living room as they climbed up the stairs. But as soon as they entered the house, the TV was switched off and Neal was sitting on the couch, holding a book. Peter decided to play along. "Hey! We're home," he said while he shrugged off his coat. He didn't need another dispute tonight so he chose to not mention that fact that he had seen the TV running despite his former order.

Elizabeth immediately went to his side. "Oh, look at you! You're hurt!" she said concerned while she caressed his cheeks.

"Yeah, obviously," Neal mumbled, not looking at Peter. Instead he earned a stern look from Elizabeth and stayed silent for a moment.

"Oh, someone's still cranky," Peter replied dryly and walked to the kitchen to store away the contents of the paper bags. On the way home El and he had stopped at a grocery store. "What do you want for dinner?"

"I'm not hungry."

"Don't play the "I'm sulky" card to me, Neal. I know you very well. Your father had the same habit," he said while he continued to pack out the groceries. "Which brings me to remind you to behave tomorrow at school."

Elizabeth listened intently and watched her son. She didn't like his current attitude, but she knew the puberty played a big part with his behavior. And she was sure he was still angry about Peter for being grounded by him. To avoid another controversy, she gently nudged his arm.

Taking a deep breath, Neal seemed to consider his options. Shrugging his shoulders, he replied nonchalantly, "I'll try."

"I'll change into something more comfortable," she said quietly and went upstairs. Apparently both of them were doing fine. Well, as fine as the situation could be. She smiled at Neal and then went upstairs.

"You realize that you are very close to flunking out of school?" Peter asked and folded the paper bags so that they could put them into the recycle bin. Then he opened the refrigerator to get the food inside.

"I don't care."

Peter almost dropped the mustard jar and blinked before he sat the jar down on the counter and closed the fridge. He took three big steps to enter the living room. "Excuse me? You apparently don't get it. If you get into trouble one more time, there's nothing I can do to help you. And honestly, I don't want to see that happen. And I don't think that your father would have been pleased by your behavior at all. Do you hear me?"

Neal stayed silent.

"Neal," Peter replied and went towards the couch where he sat down next to Neal. His voice was gentle. "I'm aware that I'm asking a lot from you, but it's only for your benefit. Having good grades is very important. Without a graduation it will be very hard to get a good job. Or do you want to step into your father's shoes? He dropped out of high school and didn't get the chance to make a graduation. Instead he chose the wrong way." Hoping that his words didn't fall on deaf ears, Peter put a hand on Neal's shoulder.

"I don't care! Ma-may-be I'll drop out, too!" He spat out, shrugging Peter's hand away.

Peter had to swallow hard at those words. It took a few seconds to calm down a bit and he said, "I know that you're having a hard time-"

"Y-you know nothing!" Neal stood up, shouting at him. "All you do is to cr-cr-iticize me all th-the time! T-that's a-a-all y-you do!"

Startled, Peter blinked and looked at the angry boy. Those emotional outbursts towards him had increased lately. He shook his head and stood up. "You know that's not true! I don't criticize you. It's just…lately you seem to ignore everything I say to you. Just like your father."

"Yeah, well, ma-may-be that's be-ca-cause I'm my father's son!" Neal shouted.

Peter opened his mouth to reply, but no words came over his lips.

Neal too, seemed to be lost for words right now, but he breathed hard to suppress his emotions.

"Son, I-"

"D-d-on't call me that," Neal replied frustrated, throwing his hands in the air. "Y-you're not my fa-father." Without looking back, he went towards the stairs. Just in time to almost collide with Elizabeth, who stood at the landing, shocked. For a blink of an eye they just looked at each other. Then Neal shook his head and rushed upstairs to literally run into his room, slamming his door shut.

"Neal!" Peter yelled after him, but got no reply. He sighed as he sat down on the couch and buried his face in his hands.

Elizabeth still couldn't believe what she had witnessed and slowly went to Peter. "What was this about?!"

Looking up, Peter felt helpless. "I don't know. I just don't know."

Torn between following Neal and staying with Peter, Elizabeth sighed. She seemed to know she had to talk with her son, but on the other hand, she needed to know the facts as well. Making a decision, she went to Peter. "Tell me what happened today."

Rubbing his face slowly, Peter didn't know what to say. "I got a phone call from Mr. Brooker. He told me that Neal got into a fight with Mark and that I should get Neal. He also told me that he will expel him from school if he misbehaves one more time."

"Why did Junior get into a fight?"

"Mark teased him because of his stuttering and Junior got agitated. You know how he reacts under stress," Peter shook his head.

"But…," Elizabeth frowned, "why did he get violent? I don't understand."

"Yeah, well, apparently Mark said to him that I'm corrupt and Junior told me, that he didn't know what else to do than to fight back."

"He doesn't fight!" Elizabeth was visibly upset.

"Actually I'm a bit disappointed because he knows exactly that those rumors aren't true. It wasn't the White Collar Division who had a corrupt man in the team. The newspapers got it all wrong. We've talked about this more than once."

"And then?"

"I've told him that his father wasn't a fighter. Junior didn't say much afterwards. Then we drove home, I dropped him off."

"Why did you two fight? That's uncommon."

"We don't get along lately," Peter confessed. "He practically freaked out when I told him that I'm worried about his future, that he needed good grades unless he wanted to end like his father-"

Elizabeth cut him off. "Peter, you can't treat him like that!"

"Like what?"

"Like he is a copy of his father."

"But in some way he is!" Peter couldn't believe that she didn't notice that fact. "Do you know how much it hurts sometimes seeing him, seeing how much he is like Neal? And then he does something Neal would never have done and I can't help myself and be disappointed because Neal had never been like this. It doesn't get any easier. He's growing up and looks more and more like Neal and I can't get over it, I'm sorry."

"Hon," El replied softly and hugged him. "We both knew that we would always be reminded of Neal when we took Junior in. Of course it was easier when he was a kid, but he needs us now more than ever. His body is changing and he feels off and his classmates envy him for his looks and smartness, they even punch him because he loves art and music. They pester him because he is rather painting than playing soccer or baseball…"

This time it was Peter who interrupted her and broke the embrace as he straightened his back. "He likes to play baseball!" he insisted.

"Yes, he does, but because of you! He admires you and wants to do stuff with you, so he plays baseball because this is something you love. You won't paint with him, you won't sing with him or watch something classic with him, but that's okay, he loves you anyway, but you have to stop comparing him with Neal, it hurts the boy." She looked at him and sighed. "He got all those talents like painting and singing from his father, but the last 10 years he was with us and his character is shaped by us. He got so much from you, but you're so focused on Neal that you don't even see it because you are so busy with comparing Junior to him."

"I don't-"

"Yes, you do! Every good grade in school is commented by 'your father would be proud of you'…"

"That's not comparing and of course Neal would be proud if he could see his son being as smart as he was, bringing home good grades and being the best student every year. Why should I not tell him that?" He could feel his tension building up and had to restrain himself.

"Because," she said and lowered her voice, and gently rubbed his back obviously sensing his tautness, "Neal is dead and Junior wants to hear that _you _are proud of him and not his father who he barely remembers anymore. _You_ are his father! He wants _you_ to be proud of him, but he is unhappy because you never tell him that!"

For the second time this evening, Peter didn't know what to say, so he opened his mouth to reply, but didn't find the right words. "How…how do you know…that he is unhappy?" he finally wanted to know, but didn't wait for an answer, because he added, "He looks happy to me. Every weekend he is invited by friends or he has kids in his room, they play with the Play Station for hours and he is all smiles and happy…"

"Yeah, outwardly he is all smiles but did you once look behind that smile?"

"You mean he cons us?"

"Peter!" El protested loudly. "Enough! I can't stand that anymore. If you won't stop seeing Neal in everything Junior does or doesn't we are going to have to see a family counselor or psychiatrist soon. You can't be serious! The boy is fighting with puberty, with his classmates and he doesn't understand why his father doesn't love him for himself but only because he is the son of his late best friend." She waited for a moment.

Peter swallowed, but the lump in his throat remained. So all he could do was to listen.

"How is Junior supposed to grow up into an independent young man if you always compare him to a ghost? You have to support him in anything he does, and if he does something we don't like you have to talk to him and make him understand that it was wrong and that he will be punished. You have to treat him like a father treats his son and not thinking about what Neal would do, what Neal would say, what Neal would think. You have to be you, Peter Burke, Junior's father, and he will appreciate it and you will see, it will get easier because Junior is no brat, he is just fighting for your attention, for your love because _you_ are his father and no one else."

Each word was like a punch into his stomach, but deep inside Peter knew that Elizabeth was right. Sighing, he dropped his head and closed his eyes. "You really think that? That I'm a bad father?"

"Of course not!" she fiercely objected. "I'm not saying you're a bad father. Quite the contrary, you are a wonderful father for Junior. I know that. And you know that. But it's up to you to let Junior know it, too."

Fiddling with his tie, Peter thought about it. "You are right, I am too invested in thinking about what would Neal do, what would Neal say and would Neal be proud of Junior that I forgot to be there for him." He stopped and blinked. "But it is so difficult, El. When he was a kid the important thing for me was to take him in, to give him anything he needs and that was easy because he was small and he was cute and grateful for everything. Now the similarity with Neal is so distinctive that I sometimes can barely look at him." His voice slightly cracked as he continued, "I know that is wrong and I'm so sorry, I didn't think he would notice. It's been 10 years. 10 years!" Stopping again, he had to take a deep breath. "And it still hurts. It hurts so much." He couldn't hold back the tears. "Of course I'm proud of him, he is my son, I love him so damn much and not only because he is Neal's but because he is ours as well. I never wanted to hurt him. Maybe I should get help but first I will talk to Junior and explain."

It wasn't hard to tell that Elizabeth too was overwhelmed by the memories of their late friend, but when she talked again, she smiled and sounded confident. "That's a good idea, Hon. He is upstairs, being mad because you grounded him after he defended you. Make it right and tell him how you feel about _him."_

The music was playing louder than usual in Neal's room as Peter slowly lifted his hand to knock. His task wasn't going to be easy, Peter knew that. But he also knew that he had to talk with Neal, even though he feared about the outcome. He knocked a few times, but got no response. "Neal? Can I come in?" he asked with his voice raised. "Please turn down the music."

Nothing happened.

"Neal…I know that you are angry with me, but please, I need to talk to you."

Again, nothing happened.

"Please, open the door-" he stopped as he twisted the door knob and the lock opened. Somehow he was surprised to find the door unlocked, but on the other hand he of course was thankful about that fact. He took a deep breath and stepped in. He found Neal sitting in front of the laptop, playing a game and wearing headphones. Gently tapping Neal's shoulder, Peter waited for him to turn around.

The boy startled, but neither didn't stop the game nor taking down the headphones.

But Peter's face dropped as he saw the tears running down Neal's cheeks. "I'm so sorry, buddy," he quickly said and knelt down, putting a hand on the boy's shoulder. But to his surprise, Neal backed away and shrugged off his hand. Not wanting to beset him, Peter lifted both hands up, showing him that he was no thread. "Can we talk?" he asked. "Turn down the music, please."

Neal sniffed a few times, but didn't look him in the eyes. Instead he stared at the computer screen randomly moving the mouse in order to pretend to play. It took a moment or two but then Neal switched off the stereo.

Peter offered him a handkerchief. He smiled weakly, mostly because he wanted to hide his own nervousness. "I know I've been an idiot and I want to apologize. Please put down the headphones."

This time, Neal obliged much faster. He even accepted the handkerchief and blew his nose, but refused to face Peter at all.

Peter's knees began to ache, so he slowly stood up, grimacing. "I'm getting too old for this," he said self-ironic and sighed. Looking around the room, he smiled as he saw the Yankee posters as well as some posters from bands he never had heard about. Maybe he should do some FBI research, but right now he had more important things to do. "Can I sit down for a moment? And then we talk?" He gestured towards the bed on the left side. "Or maybe you'll just listen," he added as he saw the still reluctant posture of Neal. "And I will talk."

"Whatever," Neal mumbled and pointedly looked to the other side of the room.

_At least he's cooperative,_ Peter thought as he sat down. _More or less._ Clearing his throat, Peter was unsure what to do. "I just want to you to know that I'm not blaming you for what happened. I just talked with your Mom and-" he stopped. Was Neal angry about El as well? Did he refuse to accept her as his mother, too? Peter decided to continue. "And she said to me, that I'm comparing you to your father all the time and…that I should stop doing this because this hurts you." He looked at Neal and swallowed hard as he saw him go stiff by those words. "I-I didn't realize how much you suffered and I'm regretting this. I really do. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

For the first time since Peter had entered the room, Neal turned around a bit and looked at Peter.

"I want you to know that I'm very proud of you. Since the day you were born, I was proud to be your Godfather. I was proud of your father, because he had achieved so much. He had made some really bad decisions in his life and most people thought that he would never change. And to be honest, the first time we worked together, I thought that, too. But he changed. He really did. He wanted a better life for you and therefore he worked hard to achieve it. It wasn't always easy. And I felt privileged when he asked me to be your Godfather. That he trusted me to be a part of your life. I mean, after all, I caught him. Three times," he grinned at the memory. "But he trusted me. And I trusted him. He was…someone special." He fell silent and looked down, overwhelmed by his emotions. Totally absorbed in his thoughts he hadn't notice that Neal had stood up and startled as he felt the mattress shift. He looked up and smiled weakly as Neal sat on the other side of the bed, listening. But although they sat together on the bed, the distance between remained.

"Here," he simply said and offered him a handkerchief.

Peter blinked. He hadn't noticed that he had been crying.

"Don't worry. It's a fresh one," Neal answered with a mischievous grin.

Peter felt the lump in his throat as he saw that charming smile and for a moment he couldn't do anything but to stare at him after he had wiped away the tears. _That's the Caffrey smile,_ Peter thought sadly. "I don't want you to think that I'm criticizing you. I just-I just want you to do the right thing. I want to give you the best possible chances for your life. But I also know that you think that the advice is bullshit." He chuckled. "I mean, I was thinking the same when my father told me things like that. And I never wanted to say such things to my children. And yet, I do."

"That isn't bullshit," Neal answered hesitantly.

"Oh, then I'm relieved," Peter said and allowed himself to relax a little bit. "Because I really thought that when my father was lecturing me. But now I know how important good grades are. Maybe I was too focused on that." Seeing Neal frown, he smirked. "Okay, I'm too focused. Eventually."

"It's okay," Neal nodded. "I understand."

"You do?"

"Yeah. More or less."

Peter let out a deep breath. "I guess I just want to make sure that you don't forget him."

"I won't," Neal answered and looked at his hands. "He's in my blood. And judging from the photos, I see him every time I look in the mirror."

Peter was stunned and blinked. All he was able to say was, "I'm sorry." Both of them remained silent for a moment. Then Peter cleared his throat. "I still miss him. It's hard for me sometimes to look at you, because of the resemblance. But I never wanted to hurt you because of this."

When Neal spoke, his voice sounded sad, "Everybody sees the son of Neal Caffrey, when they look at me. But I'm not. I mean, he's my father, but you're my dad." He stopped and looked at Peter. "I remember you teaching me baseball. I remember you taking me to my first tent camp. I remember you trying to calm me at night when I was afraid of thunder. But all you remember is me being Neal Caffrey's son." He had to swallow. "All I want is being Peter Burke's son."

Peter turned around and suddenly was embraced by Neal. Happy about this, Peter returned the gesture and couldn't resist the urge to ruffle through Neal's hair.

"Oh c'mon Dad!" Neal whined and tried to escape.

For a moment there Peter was paralyzed. _Dad_. It was then that he realized that Neal hadn't called him that in weeks. He could feel fresh tears forming in his eyes, as he still held Neal in his arms. "I love you son. And I'm proud of you. Don't forget that." He pressed a kiss on his cheek.

"I love you, too, Dad. And I'm also proud of you." Then he said, "Uhm, can you let me go now?"

"Oh, sorry," Peter laughed and released him. "That's embarrassing, right?"

Neal stood up, his cheeks flushing slightly. "A little bit, yeah." He paused. "Uhm, there's another thing I wanted to discuss with you."

Peter raised his eyebrows. "Yes?"

"I would like to go to Europe before I attend College," he said shyly.

"Alone?"

"No, with Steven. And I will pay for it," he added quickly.

"You don't have that much money," Peter objected.

"Not yet. But I will. I've talked to Uncle Robert and he would-"

"You did what?" Peter asked. His younger brother ran a small business in Upstate New York, but Robert hadn't said a word about this.

Neal blushed again. "I-I…he…I want to work for him. D-during the school vacations."

"Oh," Peter blinked. He hadn't expected something like that. "Really?"

"Yes." He looked at Peter, obviously very confused. "Are you mad at me?"

"No, not mad. Just…surprised. Robert didn't tell me about this."

"Because I'm asked him not to," Neal confessed. "And? What do you think?"

"I think…," Peter started, still stunned. "I think I have to think about it. That surely isn't something I would have expected from you. But it sounds interesting. I'll have to talk with your mom first, though. You are aware that right now with your behavior…," he said and lowered his voice, "…your options are very limited."

Neal nodded. "I understand. And I'm sorry."

Peter went towards the door, but then stopped, turning around. "Oh, one more thing. About the fight…"

Neal let out a moan and involuntarily touched his sore lip. "I know-"

"No, let me finish," Peter shook his head. "I can't hide the fact that I'm somehow proud that you tried to fight for my honor, but that's not necessary. We both know the truth. The accusations were all wrong and I was cleared. Let the others talk. I don't care. But I do care about you and I don't want you to get hurt. So please, don't do something stupid like that again. Okay?"

Nodding slightly, Neal mumbled, "Yeah."

"Promise me to stay out of trouble."

It took Neal some seconds to response, but then he looked up to Peter. "I promise."

Smiling, Peter padded his shoulder. He knew that he demanded at lot from the young man, but he also knew that Neal would withstand that recent crisis. "Then let's go down. I guess your mom has dinner ready. And if we stay here any longer, she'll probably freak out."

"Yeah," Neal chuckled. "Quite possible."

_to be continued…_


	7. Confusion

**Okay, this will be the last chapter. It has been a fantastic ride thanks to you guys who encouraged me with all those wonderful comments.**

I promised you an happy ending, right? Well, here it is! Thank you again for taking the time to read and review! 

* * *

**Chapter 7**

**New York, 2019  
Confusion**

"Peter! Wake up!"

Opening his eyes, Peter needed some seconds to realize what was going on. He blinked and yawned. He must have fallen asleep on the patio behind the house. After he had turned his head he spotted the boy sitting next to him, nudging him in order to get some attention. "Neal?"

The boy turned around and seemed to be confused. Apparently he was expecting someone as he ran back towards the house and opened the door cautiously because of the cast on his right hand. "Mommy! Daddy! Are they here?"

Peter was still a bit weary and cleared his throat after he had sat up in the recliner. Something wasn't right here, but he couldn't put his finger on it. Standing up, he could feel the tension in his back muscles. Boy, this recliner was very uncomfortable! Or maybe he was getting old?

"Peter? Are you coming?" Elizabeth's voice hollered through the air.

He stepped into the house and sighed. It looked like a bomb had exploded in the living room. Toys and cardboard games everywhere. "Junior, you have to clean up," Peter said and shook his head. The boy was so full of energy that Peter some days felt overpowered.

The door bell rang.

"Hon, will you open the door? I'm still busy in the kitchen!"

"Sure," Peter mumbled and went to the front door, opened it and…froze. He wasn't sure, but it felt like his jaw was hitting the ground right now. "B-but…?" This surely must be a dream. A really bad dream.

"You alright? You look like you have seen a ghost," Neal grinned and looked at Peter.

"Daddy!"

"Hey, champ!" Neal knelt down and embraced his son after he had ruffled the boy's hair. "You've been a good boy?"

"He's been an angel. All three have," Elizabeth stepped next to her husband. "Hon? What's up?"

"B-but…he's…not real…I mean, I…," Peter stammered and blinked. Rubbing his face, Peter tried to come to his senses. "I don't understand?"

Neal stood up again, holding Joshua in his arms. "Where are your brothers?"

Elizabeth answered, "Upstairs. Lucas's not feeling well, I think he's coming down with the flu. Nevertheless Ben wanted to entertain him a bit." She smiled when she counter questioned. "Where are your women?"

"In the car," Neal said and looked over his shoulder, a broad smile across his face. "I just wanted to pick up the boys and then head home. And of course say thank you for taking care of them."

"Oh, I've made a cake. Don't you want to come in and stay for a while?" Elizabeth asked and waved towards the black SUV, which parked at the curb. The passenger door was slightly open and a blonde woman returned the greeting. Elizabeth poked Peter, who still hadn't moved. "Hey? Are you still with us? What's wrong? Are you getting a cold, too, like Lucas?" she asked while she went down to the car.

"Huh?" Peter replied blinking. "It's just…I…no I'm fine. I'm fine." He forced himself to smile briefly. "Come in," he said to Neal and looked at his wife who had joined the woman at the car and then back to Neal.

Laughing out loud when they entered the living room, Neal put Joshua down. "Mister, you are going to clean up the mess before we go home, alright?"

"But it wasn't me!" The six year old explained and crossed his arms. "Lucas-"

"Lucas is sick and you are a big boy. I'm sure you can handle that," Neal said with a raised eyebrow. "The sooner you start, the sooner you'll be done." He patted the boy on the back when Joshua mumbled some incomprehensible words but obeyed his fathers' wishes.

"Oh, Peter! Just look at her!" Elizabeth beamed and cradled a tiny pink bundle in her arms. With a few steps she had closed the distance between them.

Looking down, Peter saw the sleeping baby wrapped in a pink cover. And then, he suddenly knew what was going on. The accident, the adoption and everything else…all of it had been a dream! A feeling of relief washed over him and he let out a sigh. Then he remembered. Neal and his wife Linda had been at the hospital for almost three weeks due to some health issues from Emma Rose, the newest member of the Caffrey family. Emma had been a premature birth and Linda had been forced to stay at the hospital, because she too had had problems during birth. Neal had asked the Burkes if they would take care of Joshua and his 3 year old twin brothers Lucas and Benjamin while he had been with Linda most of the time. "She's beautiful, just like her mother," he finally said.

Linda smiled, but it was obvious that she was still weak. "Thanks. You know they say it's a 50-50 thing. Although I tend to believe it's more like 80-20."

"Hey! I've heard that!" Neal shouted from across the room where he had joined Joshua to help him picking up the toys.

"Let's sit down," Peter suggested and gestured to the couch where Elizabeth already sat, still engrossed with the little baby girl. It was clear that she adored the baby. "You want something to drink?"

"Maybe a glass of water?" Linda answered and slowly sat down next to Elizabeth.

Peter nodded as he went to the kitchen. "Just a second."

Neal stood up and joined him. "Hey," he said, leaning against the door frame. "You are still a bit pale. You sure you're okay?"

Putting a pot of fresh lemonade on a tray, Peter looked up. He felt like a fool and decided to answer evasively. "Yeah, sure. I'm glad that Linda and Emma are doing better. It's good to go home, isn't it?"

"Best feeling ever," Neal smiled and went to the cupboard to gather the glasses. "Smells delicious." He pointed to the freshly baked cake and went closer to his friend, so that he could lower his voice. "What's going on, Peter? You are acting strange. Did something happen? Don't tell me the boys-"

"No, not at all," Peter interrupted him, waving his hand. Next he stayed silent for a moment. "It's silly," he finally said and shook his head. "And not important."

"Yet, you're still upset," Neal insisted. "Spill it. You know I can be very persistent."

Peter was well aware of his friend's stubbornness. Nevertheless he didn't want to share his thoughts with the women and children. "I'll bring them the drinks and the cake and then we'll talk, okay?"

"Sounds like a plan. You want to go outside?"

It was still amazing after all those years of their friendship how well Neal could read him. "Yeah."

"Okay. I'll get the beer."

Coming back a few minutes later, Peter found Neal already sitting on the patio. Two bottles of beer were standing on the table. "I'm afraid El won't let Emma go," he grinned softly after he had taken a seat.

"Elizabeth is more than welcome to assist us and looking after Emma every two hours in the middle of the night. Oh and don't forget the puking and crying," Neal grinned, but got serious again. "Speaking of helping us. The last three weeks were…exhausting to put it mildly."

"Understandable."

Neal let out a deep breath, but his tension was still visible. "Thank God Moz took care of the business. But even if he hadn't, I don't care. My family is top priority. Not my company."

"You're right," Peter nodded and wasn't surprised that Mozzie had stepped in for Neal, since they were sort of...business partners. Although Peter knew that Mozzie still wasn't part of the system, the odd little man played an important role at Caffrey Security Systems and as long as both of them stayed on the right side of the law, Peter wasn't about to complain. In fact, giving Neal the chance to build up his own consulting firm, working for art galleries and museums, had been helpful in many ways. Neal still was working part-time as a consultant for the FBI, but his main focus now was to be an honest tax payer, loving husband and proud father of four. Peter knew that his friend didn't dare to infringe the law anymore, afraid to lose his freedom again and moreover, his family.

Neal looked at him and he seemed a bit more relaxed now. "We want to invite Moz, Elizabeth and you sometime next week to return the favor. I'll cook."

"That isn't necessary," Peter objected, but was touched nevertheless.

"We insist."

"You know that we love to look after the boys." Since Elizabeth and he didn't have children, they helped willingly to raise the kids. It was nice having them around, but even nicer to be able to return them to the parents after a certain time. Thinking of the little rascals, the image of the newest family member popped into his mind and he felt a shiver down his spine. Elizabeth and he were shocked about the bad news they had received from Neal concerning the health problems from both Linda and Emma. Neal had been devastated and hadn't left Linda's side at the hospital. It had taken a lot of persuasiveness from Peter and a lot more of threats from Elizabeth to finally convince him to go home for a few hours each day. He remembered how thankful Linda was to have some privacy at last, not that she hadn't mind the company of her husband. But Neal had been too overprotective, even for her likes. "And I'm -we are glad that both Linda and Emma are doing better now."

"Yeah, me too."

"We're are looking forward having the little princess among us in the near future." Suddenly he realized the meaning of his words and he stopped short.

"Peter?" Neal sounded concerned and leaned forward. "Are you okay? You are scaring me. A lot."

"What? No. No. I'm fine. I just remembered something."

"You've been acting strange since you opened the front door earlier. C'mon…talk with me."

His shoulders sagged and he had to clear his throat. "I still think it's silly." Seeing Neal frown, Peter took a deep breath and added, "I must have fallen asleep outside while watching Junior and-"

"Junior?" Neal blinked. "You mean Josh?"

"I think so. His name was Neal. And later Junior. Though Josh doesn't look like him." He glanced back towards the house and thought of the blond boy, who obviously got a lot of his mother's genes.

Neal looked at him with a frown. "What are you talking about?"

Peter blinked and realized that he must have spoken in riddles. "Uhm, I said it was silly. But yes, I meant Josh."

"We never called him Junior."

"But I did. I mean, we all did it. In my dream."

"Ah, that explains…at least some things. Go ahead," Neal nodded and leaned back again, obviously interested in Peter's explanation.

"It felt so real…you and Linda…there was a car accident…both of you were…," he stopped shortly, swallowing hard, "…killed. Then Jun-Neal broke his arm and his grandparents weren't able to look after him. So we adopted Neal. He became Neal Peter Caffrey-Burke and-"

"Seriously? Neal Peter Caffrey-Burke?!" Neal laughed out loud as he cut him off. "What a weird dream."

"Yeah, right," Peter smiled, but it was affected.

"Though not everything was made up. My in-laws live in Chicago, they can't take the children that easily. And you know about Joshua's accident when he fell down the tree house at the Millers' five weeks ago." Neal took a sip from the beer. Over the years he got used to the fact that Peter wasn't so enthusiastic about wine like he was.

"Seems I mixed up a few things."

"Okay, now I'm intrigued…tell me more about Junior. I hope there was a happy ending after all? And what about his appearance? Did he inherited his fathers' good looks?" Apparently he found the story very entertaining, despite the fact that he had died in Peter's dream.

"Oh, sure he did. He was…just like you. A younger version. Same dark hair, blue eyes, the smile, everything."

"I knew it!" Neal triumphed. It was no secret that he got funny remarks from his former colleagues at the bureau about the blond boy since one would assume to see a Mini-Neal. At least the twins were sporting a light brown hair color.

"But he was also struggling with his heritage. Got into a fight because he tried to defend his new family. Us. At some point he asked if he could call El and me Mom and Dad. It felt right. We did the best we could to offer him a secure childhood since he lost…his real parents." He fell silent for a moment, then smirked. "He was a very good student and baseball player."

That last comment caused a fit of laughter. "You have quite a vivid fantasy, I must say. _Baseball!_"

"Hey! I didn't force him to. It was his own decision, I think," Peter interjected, but then quietly added, "okay, maybe I manipulated him a little bit."

"See?" Still astonished by his friend's explanation, Neal tried to soothe Peter. "Although I must admit that your dream was very, very strange, I feel blessed to have such wonderful Godparents for Josh. I couldn't think of someone else."

Peter felt flattered. "Ah. C'mon. You would do the same," he said nonchalantly and waved his hand, but he was really touched by Neal's words. "He was cute, though. Neal Peter, I mean."

"You know, I still feel a bit offended by that name. Neal Peter Caffrey-Burke. Really?" Neal made a face. "Luckily it was just a dream."

"I'll try to come up with a better name the next time I dream about your family," Peter retorted, but grinned at the same time.

"That would be very much appreciated," Neal nodded and paused for a moment, before he said, "Thank you."

Frowning, Peter leaned forward. "For coming up with a better name?" he asked confused.

"For…telling me. And taking care of the boys. I know they can be…," he smirked, "…a handful to handle."

"Oh, if I was able to handle you…I have no problems with three small ones," Peter replied dryly, trying hard to suppress a grin. _Hopefully Neal will not find out what we did last weekend,_ he thought and took a sip of his beer.

…

**10 days later**

"Stop spoiling my children," was the first thing Neal said as he opened the door to let Peter and Elizabeth in. He wore casual clothes and an apron, since he was in the middle of cooking.

They stepped into the living room of Neal's house. El just grinned and threw a quick glance at her husband before she patted him on the shoulder. "Told you he would find out," she whispered into his ear.

"Hello to you, too," Peter answered unimpressed and winked at Linda, who waved at them from the other side of the room where she was busy preparing the table. He watched Elizabeth crossing the room to join her. He held up a bottle of wine (and yes, he bought the expensive one which you actually needed a cork-screw for). "Care to tell me why you think I would spoil your kids?" He put the bottle on the table.

"You took them to a baseball game while they stayed with you." Neal sounded seriously offended and pointed with a cooking spoon at Peter.

"Of course I did!" Peter said and put his hands on his hips, ready to fight for his passion. "And just for the record - the boys loved it."

"You bought them hot dogs," Neal deadpanned. "You bribed them! You, of all people, bribed them."

"That's not bribing," Peter countered, "they asked if they could have one and I happily obeyed."

Neal just snorted. Then he went back to the kitchen, taking the bottle of wine with him.

And Peter's grin even got wider. The next time he would buy them a baseball outfit.

"Boys will be boys," El laughed and looked at Linda, who seemed to have the same thought while they were setting the table.

"He almost choked on his wine when Joshua proudly told him about the game the other day. Neal's face was priceless." Linda fought hard to suppress a laughing fit.

"I can imagine," El giggled.

"What are you laughing about?" Neal asked after he had gone back to the kitchen, looking at Linda, El and Peter.

"Just concentrate on fixing the menu, chef," Peter said and winked at the women as he approached them. "Where are the boys anyway? And I assume the little one is sleeping?"

"Yes, Emma's still asleep," Linda answered, still grinning. "And the boys are in the garden, with Uncle Mozzie."

"That figures," Peter sighed. "He's found attentive followers."

"Hon, don't worry. Mozzie is great with kids," El tried to assure him while she embraced him and placed a kiss on his cheek.

"Yeah, he's great with teaching them how to pick pockets and locks and God knows what else." He couldn't help it but to worry about the kids' welfare. "Or even worse – telling them those abstruse government conspiracy theories..." He stopped when he noticed that Moz entered the kitchen.

"Suit," Mozzie greeted him and immediately started to quote. Apparently he had heard Peter's comment. "'You have your ideology and I have mine'."

Peter narrowed his eyes and looked at Neal. "And YOU are saying that I AM spoiling your kids? HE'S the one with a weird and vivid imagination."

Neal grinned. "Khahil Gibran. Nice, Moz." He turned toward Peter and said, "I forbid him talking about such things, Peter." He shrugged and added quietly, "at least as long as you are around."

Mozzie seemed only slightly impressed and held up his right index finger. "'Everything you can imagine, is real'."

"Ah, Picasso," Neal grinned and stirred the sauce.

Winking at Neal, Mozzie continued, "'Logic will get you from A to Z; imagination will get you everywhere'."

This time, Elizabeth chimed in. "Oh, I know this one. It's from Albert Einstein, right?"

"Correct," Mozzie nodded satisfied. "Very good."

Peter replied grumpily, "Is this kind of a quoting contest? What about this one?" He pointed towards Mozzie. "'You get on my nerves'."

Nobody spoke at first. Mozzie put a hand on his chin, rubbing it with his thumb and index finger and mumbled, "This sounds vaguely familiar."

"It's from-" His reply was stopped by the sound of running feet and he turned around just in time to kneel down in order to embrace the boys all at once. "Hey, hey, hey," he laughed when he almost got knocked over by the sheer power of the three and his bad mood vanished instantly. He never had been a child person and was afraid at first when Neal and Linda had asked him about being Joshua's Godfather. But the adorable boy had wormed his way into Peter's heart the second he had held the little bundle in his arms for the first time after he had been born. Now he wouldn't want to miss all of them for anything in the world.

"Peter! Look! No more cast!" Joshua smiled and held up his right arm.

"That's great. But you have to be careful for a while now, okay buddy?" Peter ruffled through the boy's hair.

"I'll try," Joshua replied giggling.

Peter stood up, the boys still hovering around him.

"Dinner's ready!" Neal proclaimed and clapped his hands. "Take your seats, please."

As usual, the dinner wasn't held in silence and there was a happy chatter all along. Peter leaned back in his chair and let his eyes wander. It didn't surprise him that El was in a deep conversation with Mozzie while Linda tried to tame the rascals, who, seemed to be more cheerful than normal. If that even was possible. During the dinner, the youngest family member had made herself heard and now lay in the arms of her father. Totally engulfed with the infant, Neal wasn't aware of his surroundings any longer. Peter smiled, as he thought of Mozzie and that he definitely had spent too much time with the odd man when a quote from Douglas Adams came to his mind. 'I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be.' In the end he had to admit, he wouldn't have it wanted any other way.

**END (?)  
**


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